We will be in Napa and Sonoma celebrating 80 Years of Dave while looking smart in shirts bearing his image and some of his more memorable sayings. Some of the more snarky (and less PC) witticisms that didn't make the list: "You'd bitch if you were hung with a new rope," and "This is not a fucking gymnasium!" (Usually while loudly parenting rambunctious boys.)
On July 10, 1935, John Simpson was born in the Chicago area. He was placed for adoption in a Catholic charities organization and was adopted a short time later by the Johnson family, when his name was changed to David.
Please excuse the rounding error. It has actually been 0.1 years of John followed by 79.9 years of Dave.
This will not be a History Channel biography explaining how he came to Arizona before the golden age of air conditioning. Or how he was an Army officer during Vietnam and the Cold War. Or how he got married right out of college and fathered four stooges. Or how he refuses to burden anybody, while always quick to lend a hand.
No, this is the story of a man with a holster full of one-liners and quips...and he ain't afraid to use them.
When something significant happens, my friends ask: "What did your dad say?" Because they know it makes for good story telling.
If he can make himself laugh, it is certain you will laugh too. You might even laugh and ask "What does 'Fine as frog hair' mean?" Or ask "How old does somebody have to be to have known Christ when he was a corporal?" Or ask "how dumb is somebody to be incapable of pouring piss out of a boot with directions on the heel...wait a second, if directions are on the heel...and you lift the heel to read the directions..."
There are too many funny, wise, and important anecdotes to list here. But suffice to say this is a man who is respected and loved by all. Everybody who has met him is better for the experience.
Happy 80 Years, Dave.
Eighty Years of Dave