Amy Kennedy strolled into the Sydney, Australia branch of  The following dialog was transcribed from security camera footage.

AK: I saw your website. G'donya.  You could make a quid painting a portrait of my heifer. You have a heifer?  Is that a cow, or some frumpy old lady you know?

AK: Yep, I have a pet cow.  She is a sweetheart. She is due to have her first baby next month, so I am going to be a grandma! Send a pic and we will have our Senior Bovine Portrait Artist have a look.

AK: You will regret asking for photos.  This is Heidi, she is my love.  The breed is Galloway.  They are very hairy and come in different colours.  And this is Kilroy, a little bull calf that I took to a show recently.  And this is one of the recent calves on the farm.  Her name is Loretta.  And this is...  ...OK, OK... We only have one Senior Bovine Portrait Artist, and he plans to retire one day.  So just one painting at a time.

AK: We bought an old government bus off Ebay for Heidi to raise her family.  We are renovating the bus.  Decorating is ace with hay bales and alfalfa...  I am having a baby shower for Heidi in a fortnight. Baby shower for a cow?!?  Are you inviting Heidi's friends or your friends?

AK: Yes. OK.  While you work on the calf shower, we will get to work on this portrait.

About a month later on May 12, 2015...

AK:  I became a grandma this morning.  Heidi had the calf. We hope mama and calf are doing well.  Was it a boy or a girl? Have you chosen a name?

AK: Too early to tell, mate. We need to feel it's bits and it's bobs to be sure at this age. Haven't chosen a name.  But since it was born in 2015 its name must start with "L". How about Lulu if its a girl and Lou if its a boy.

AK: I like Lulu for a girl.  If he grows into a bull, I plan to name him LL Cool Bull.  But if we snip him and he becomes a steer... Then you would be left with Lou.

AK: I think so...

Heidi the Heifer